It’s 2023 and it seems surprising that we are still using the term bicultural marriage. In nature, it sounds derogatory. As if it’s a bad thing to be married to a partner who is of a different race or ethnicity than your own.
Bicultural marriages are becoming more common and there is a shift in the stigma that comes with it. Even so, there are many challenges that come with being a part of a bicultural marriage. Here are just a few of them and how to overcome them.
Challenges That Come With A Bicultural Marriage
Racism
This is by far the most challenging part, although it isn’t surprising. Discrimination against certain races and ethnicities is still very much a thing. Because of this, it can put a strain on the relationship itself as well as relationships with other people in the couple’s lives.
Not having the support of loved ones because of antiquated and wrong ideas is hard enough. But, it is also disheartening to know that complete strangers can feel so adamantly about their viewpoints on your marriage that they feel the need to comment on it.
Dealing with different cultural norms
When you come from completely different upbringings and viewpoints, it can put a strain on the relationship. Learning to balance each other’s cultural norms and expectations is something that many couples struggle with.
Raising children
Because you come from completely different backgrounds, it can feel overwhelming when you try to blend that and raise a family together. What about religion? Holidays? Food choices? Languages? Blending family traditions?
The list can go on and on. While child-rearing is challenging enough, it certainly becomes more complicated trying to blend into each other’s lives.
How To Overcome the Challenges Of A Bicultural Marriage
Communication is key
Communication is always essential, no matter what background you come from. One of the best ways to deal with these challenges is to talk about them early on.
Bring out your feelings and plans on dealing with the racism you will most likely face. Talk about how you will deal with the stereotyping you will both hear.
Together, as a team, try to plan in advance for how you want to be honest about everything you encounter as a couple.
Set your own standards
Faith, cultural traditions, and even food play a huge part in our lives. When you are in a marriage, try to blend your different cultures evenly. Do the things that feel best for both of you, not what society tells you needs to happen.
You’ll start to feel more balanced as you realize that what you set for your family and marriage is the best. Not trying to fit into the mold of what society wants.
Learn about each other’s cultures
It’s hard to understand other cultures when they are so different than what they know. It can help a couple early on if they learn about the other person’s traditions, faith, or anything else.
Not only should you talk to each other about them, but do research on the history of these things.
Respect each other’s differences
The great thing about life is that we all come from different backgrounds and histories. While this can make things challenging to deal with, it’s also a beautiful experience.
When you are both genuinely excited about learning more about each other’s cultures and traditions, it can help deal with all of the outside noise all the easier.
Get support from an unbiased third party
As “easy” as all of that may seem, it’s not that cut and dry. Being in a bicultural marriage means that there is going to be even more noise and opinions which makes life pretty confusing.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to us for help with couples therapy. Together, we can get you on the road to a more balanced relationship while honoring your differences.
