We all want things to go according to plan. Unfortunately, things are typically more likely to be the opposite of that. Very rarely does something come out as “perfect,” or exactly the way we wanted it to.
It’s fine to strive for our best, but sometimes we just have to accept that they might not always be that way.
The same can be said for the relationships that we have in life. Whether that is with a romantic partner, spouse, child, family member, or friend.
Wanting everything to be perfect and being a perfectionist can commonly affect the relationships that we have in life. A lot of times, we do this completely unintentionally.
Here are just a few ways that perfectionism can hurt relationships.
Your Perception Of Things Isn’t Actually Reality
We all have a picture in our heads of how things should go. Sometimes that is with our romantic partners or spouses. Or the portrayal of them on tv and movies makes our expectations a little skewed.
When we place higher expectations on the people and situations we find ourselves in, inevitably, we are let down in some way. It’s also common for perfectionists to place the blame on other people.
Difficulty Adjusting To Change
You were going to meet up with a friend for dinner after work. You did everything to ensure you could leave on time to meet them. When a text comes in saying they won’t be there on time, you feel irritable over it.
You stuck to your plan, why couldn’t they do something similar? Now, you likely won’t meet up for at least a half hour or more after the initial time. For many perfectionists, this is something that can be very frustrating to deal with.
This is a perfect example of not being able to handle when things don’t go exactly as planned. Not only does it cause you frustration, but if you say something to your friend, it will likely leave them feeling annoyed also.
Unable To Let Things Go
It’s life and we are humans. As such, mistakes are going to happen. Intentional or not, we all mess up. For a perfectionist, this is the absolute worst thing that could happen. Not only in how they react to their own mistakes, but to the slip-ups done by other people.
It’s not uncommon for a perfectionist to not be able to just drop the subject. Especially when in conflict with one another person.
How To Take Control Over Perfectionism
If any of the above resonates with you, you might be left wondering what to do about it. After all, if you think you are a perfectionist, that means you probably think you can’t change; it’s just who you are. The good news is, that couldn’t be further away from the truth.
Perfectionism is something that is part of who we are. However, it’s normally a learned behavior that we picked up on throughout life. So while it is challenging to deal with, you can find new ways to deal with it. Especially when it comes to your relationships with others.
It isn’t a bad thing to want things to be the best they can be. Especially when we relate this to personal and romantic relationships. However, when this changes to needing everything and everyone around you to be perfect, this is when it can start to cause problems.
If you are worried that perfectionism is affecting your relationships, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Contact us to learn more about how anxiety treatment can help you deal with your perfectionism.
