How do you react when faced with trauma? Do you try to ignore it? Do you face it head-on? Do you turn to anger to move forward or do you use that anger against yourself? Blame yourself for what happened?
We’re all different people. As a result, we all react differently in the face of trauma. But our reactions can be influenced by many things, and gender is one of them. We are all capable of reacting to trauma with anger or escapism, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be clear differences in different genders’ reactions to trauma.
Men and Anger
Some people who experience trauma turn to anger as a way of coping with what happened. They channel any other emotions brought up by the traumatic event, such as sadness or fear or anxiety, into anger because anger is easier to cope with. Anger is easier to act upon. It feels more proactive. After all, what do you do if you’re sad or afraid or anxious?
Between men and women, men are more likely to react with anger. This is because, unlike sadness or fear or anxiety, anger is a more socially acceptable reaction for men to have. It’s what they’ve been taught to fall back on when things are difficult. As a result, it’s what they turn to when faced with trauma.
Men and Substance Use
When faced with a traumatic event and its aftermath, a lot of people turn to escapism to cope. Substance use can provide that escapism. It can lessen the strength of trauma and help people cope for a little while. True, this can be dangerous and lead to more problems down the line, but in the moment, it feels worth it.
Though it’s not uncommon in both men and women, it’s men who are more likely to turn to substances to help them cope with their trauma. Substances are there, and it seems like an easy fix. It isn’t, but it feels like it. And if reaching out to others isn’t an option, if it’s discouraged by the people around them or they think they might be judged, then what other choice do they have?
Women and Self-Blaming
Experiencing trauma can change your worldview. It can also change your view of yourself. Many people lose their sense of self-worth after trauma. They start thinking of themselves negatively, in a way they didn’t before. They might even blame themselves for what happened even though it’s not their fault at all.
This reaction is more common in women than men. Women are the ones who tend to blame themselves after experiencing a traumatic event. They might berate themselves for reacting in a way they think is wrong, or for not coping with the resulting trauma in the way they think they should. They might believe themselves to be weak, for example, even though they aren’t.
Women and External Support
Some people, when faced with trauma, are more likely to reach out to others and talk about it. They might tell their friends or family. They might tell people they trust. They might even reach out to counselors for help coping with what happened to them.
Women are more likely to do that than men. They might even rely on external support to get through the trauma of what happened to them, and if they can’t find that support, they struggle to keep going.
But just because women are more likely to seek help doesn’t mean men won’t benefit from it too. Counseling is for everyone. It doesn’t matter what your gender is. If you’ve experienced a traumatic event, and you’re struggling with the aftermath, then reach out for help. Consider trauma therapy and make an appointment. You don’t have to do this alone.
