At some point, every couple will have a breakdown in their relationship. Whether that is from lack of communication, intimacy issues, or just constantly arguing, it is completely normal.
Every relationship has an ebb and flow to it. There’s going to be those great moments when it feels just right. And then there will be other times when you are questioning everything. No matter if you are just dating or have been married for years, all couples end up going through these things.
Sometimes, things get so bad that you just can’t take it. You might be tempted to even call it quits, but then another thought crosses your mind – how about couples counseling?
Things are already tense, so you don’t want to make it even worse, but you approach your partner with the suggestion. And maybe this surprises you, or maybe it doesn’t – but they aren’t open to the idea at all.
You can’t help but feel dejected and rejected. What does this mean? Does it mean anything for your relationship?
What To Do When Your Partner Is Not Open To The Idea
Find Out Why
When you first hear that your partner does not want to go, it could end up causing even more tension or arguing. Does it mean you care more than they do? Usually, the answer to that is no.
So when you are in this situation, try to find a way to have the conversation on why they don’t want to go.
Is it because they are afraid of the cost? If money is already a point of contention in your relationship, this may be a main reason why they don’t want to go. Why pay more money to fix a problem surrounding money?
Are they a little taken back by the idea of opening up to a stranger about your issues? It’s really common to be super hesitant over discussing personal issues, especially when it comes to a relationship or marriage.
There are a myriad of other reasons why someone could be closed off to the idea of couples counseling. But the chances of it being because they don’t want to save your relationship are pretty slim.
Explain Why It Could Be Beneficial For Your Relationship
Before you approached your partner with the idea, you likely did some research on couples counseling.
If they are hesitant, try approaching it by explaining how couples counseling can be beneficial. After all, there are many benefits that a couple can receive from therapy. These can include:
- Improving communication
- Increasing intimacy in the relationship
- Resolving underlying issues that are contributing to the conflict
If you explain why couples counseling is effective, it might help them see that it can help your relationship, too.
Don’t Try To Force It
This can be really challenging, but don’t try to force or trick them into going to therapy. That will just make the problems between the two of you even worse. You can ask them to at least try to go to one or two sessions and then they can decide if it is for them or not. Give them some time to come around to the idea, and if nothing else….
Try Couples Therapy On Your Own
No, we are not crazy! You can absolutely still go to couples therapy, even if it is just solo. Seeing a licensed counselor, even on your own, can help your relationship by:
- Teaching you how to communicate better
- Work on being a better listener
- Handle stress and anxiety better
Sometimes, going to therapy without them can help them see the effectiveness of how therapy is working out for you.
If you are ready to give couples counseling or individual therapy a try, connect with us for a free consultation to begin.
