Life always seems to get in the way. Despite our best intentions, we sometimes lose the connection we have with our partners. This disconnection can happen gradually over time. Or, it can seem to happen suddenly if there is a conflict that causes a gap between you two.
Every relationship will inevitably face a season of change. This is the season of your relationship where everything just seems off. You can’t pinpoint it, exactly, but you no longer feel close. Or maybe something happened to cause this and you don’t know how to get past it. Truthfully, it’s more surprising when a relationship doesn’t go through one of these periods.
If you no longer feel close to your spouse, you may question whether or not you can get through this. However, you don’t have to stay in this place. Below, here are four ways you can reconnect with your partner.
Start The Conversation
You can’t fix something that isn’t being acknowledged. The first step to reconnecting is to have an open and honest conversation. You may question whether or not you are imagining things. Or, maybe you have both felt yourselves drifting apart. If you haven’t had this conversation before, now is a great time to have it.
Your partner may not even realize that you also feel disconnected from them. Conversations like this can be tricky to navigate. It can be challenging to say you don’t feel as close anymore without placing sole blame on the other person. What is most important to remember is to just be honest and open with each other.
Plan Time Just For Each Other
There never seems to be loads of time to devote to our spouses. It’s not that we don’t want to, but life happens. Kids, careers, social obligations, and household duties seem to take up so much of our time. There is a common misconception that in order to be close with your partner, you have to carve out a ton of time throughout the week. However, this isn’t really the case. Even just 15 to 20 minutes a day can help you reconnect with your partner.
You don’t have to plan out a huge date night. Coffee in the morning together before the kids wake up and the day gets hectic. Cooking supper together or cleaning up the dishes. Simple moments in life where it’s just you two, if only for a short period of time. Sometimes, you just need to share in the simple moments of life to really feel that closeness with your partner.
Show Appreciation
As time goes on, the little things you do for each other become so routine, that expressing gratitude gets lost. No matter if it’s taking the garbage out, cooking dinner, or getting the kids ready for school – saying thank you doesn’t always cross the mind.
Sometimes, the disconnection happens because one partner does not feel appreciated for what they are doing. It’s actually common for many couples to feel as if the other just doesn’t care anymore. “Did they even notice that…?” You can probably fill in those dots from there.
To increase feelings of intimacy, do your best to thank each other for what you are doing. You don’t need to go overboard with it. Even just acknowledging that they took the trash out can go along way with a simple “Thank you.” We all assume that people just know how we feel, but unless something is expressed verbally, that may not always be the case.
Learn Something New
The final tip we want to leave you with is to learn something new together. You can take a cooking class. Or learn about something that interests you both such as a hobby or topic. Not only are you helping to sharpen your own mind, but you are sharing that with someone special in your life. The disconnect you may be feeling could be because you have fallen into a familiar routine with one another. So shake it up a bit!
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Navigating life and it’s challenges is hard when you don’t feel support from your partner. If you are feeling like a bridge is separating you, couples counseling can help you through this time. Reach out to our office to begin reconnecting.
